It is what it is. Did you know that the average wedding in 2005 is costing $26,327? This is according to the Fairchild Bridal Group, publisher of Bride, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride magazines. $26,327 will get you an awful lot of organ music.

Money magazine ran an article, aptly titled "The Blowout" about a Texas couple that got married this past summer. They spent well over the average pricetag ($41,000), stressed themselves and their families emotionally and financially, and primarily remember the things that didn't cost them a dime, anyway (at least they got that part right). $41,000??? That's like buying a fully loaded 2006 Saab, driving it for one day, and then savoring the memories of that drive forevermore.

The bride and groom aren't the only ones breaking the bank. In another Money article, it's suggested that guests never spend less than $50 on their wedding gift. There appear to be tiers of acceptable gift ranges, following if-then statements. Here's an excerpt: "...if it's a co-worker or distant family friend or relative, choose a gift costing $50-$75. If the couple is a relative or friend, find something around $75-$100. If the bride and/or groom is a best friend, close relative, or sibling, spring for something worth at least $100, maybe even more than $150."

Whew - so complicated. And silly.

Two messages I get from all this are: #1) Money magazine has a creepy level of interest in weddings this year; #2) It's incredibly easy to get carried away with a wedding celebration and dig a financial hole. In some cases, a fairly significant financial hole. Marc and I have both been married. Marc in 1999, and me in 1994. Both of us had small but beautiful weddings, relatively short marriages and mostly amicable divorces. We each learned a lot about what was important to us in a relationship. We both agree that a wedding is but one day, but a marriage - a marriage lasts a long time after the cake and flowers and crowds and fifty-dollar-minimum gifts are gone. We're both interested in a marriage.

Marc and I got married, in a quiet sort of way, this past May. We shared the news very sparingly for months, for a number of reasons. One reason was our desire to keep marriage close and intimate for a while so we could focus just on each other. It was a lovely experience. Also, we wanted to share it with our families first, when everyone could come together at once. We did that this past weekend, when Marc's family and mine spent 5 days together, getting to know each other. During that time, we shared our happy news and exchanged rings while the family looked on. It was simple and low key, but for me, the memories are just as sharp and as priceless as if we'd spent $26,327 or more. I couldn't be more excited or proud to call Marc my husband. I love being married to him.

We are talking about gathering friends together for a "renewal of vows" celebration, if you will, sometime next year. Look for a casual-style gathering rather than formal organ music, and please don't plan on following any silly tier structure for gifts.